Immigrant Parents

My parents are great. They don't speak English very well, but they're great. They've even given my brother and I such "unique" names that no one, not even themselves, can pronounce. All the aunties and uncles at our church (a Chinese church, mind you) would say our names exactly the same way - "Maf-fee!" - so we never knew who they were calling. The funniest thing out of all this is that my parents can't even pronounce our names right. Dad calls me, "Ma-d-tea"; and my brother "Matt-y-us." Thank heavens, though, they didn't name me something like "Kitty", "Venus", or "Cloud." And since Chinese people have a lot of trouble with th's, r's and l's, I have to be thankful they didn't name me something like Ralethea. Imagine what that would sounds like!!! "Llalleefeeah!"

At least "Matthea" sorta of has some relation to "Matthew", a real name that's, well, unfortunately meant for boys. . . I never could figure out who had it worse, me or my brother. His name's "Matheus," and it gets mangled into things like "Malthus", "Morpheus", "Mattioos." I've always thought it was worse for me, though, since I'm a girl - try being called "Matthew" on your first day of highschool. That was me in grade nine, baby. Lucky me! On top of that, I've also gotten "Maffea", "MATtheea", "Ma-TEEa", "Ma-Tay-a". I think the best was blurted out by my outdoor ed teacher's wife, who was trying to get my attention on one of our trips: "Matthoo!"

So, if there are any other Mattheas out there, and can sympathize with my case, drop me a line and let me know what hilarious name-slaughtering experiences you've had!